Back to Ballet!

So, I always knew this deep down, but didn't accept it until recently. I am not a very happy person when I'm not dancing. It's easy to get lost in being a mom, a wife, cleaning house, taking care of diapers and feeding and naps and grocery shopping and meal planning and volunteering at school and church callings and having neighbors over and playgroup and visiting teaching and teaching piano and plucking eyebrows and shaving legs and e-mailing and...well, everything else we women do. We give and give and often think we don't need or have time to replenish ourselves. I know I'm probably preaching to the choir here.

I made a commitment to myself to replace some of that energy and passion I give in all I do. So, last week I went back to ballet and made a promise that I wouldn't let anything talk me out of it.... and I am so happy! I feel like a real person again and not just a machine doing and doing for everyone else and not myself. I'm so grateful for women who have set the example of making time for one's self! Because that's just it - we have to make that time and commit to it. I've started and stopped so many times because I had to work or it was too expensive or my family needed me 100% of the time. I've been giving 100% of me to everyone else and there was nothing left of me for me.

I've made a new friend... a fellow 20 something year old in my ward who has had very similar ballet training. We have a blast laughing about our childhood experiences in dance and life and how we're telling our brains to tell our bodies to go faster or lift our legs higher, but there's a new delay in our bodies for following that instruction. But, that'll come. I've just got to reactivate some stagnant brain cells. I feel like a real person again! I didn't know I was buried until I was just reintroduced to the real me again. Hi me! I kinda like you again. My family kinda likes me better now too and they're learning how to survive without me for a night. Happy Day!

Funny thing too....the other day Ellei was wanting me to turn on my Nutcracker Music Box and of course it's hard for me to listen to it without doing the steps, so I was dancing around in the foyer. Her mouth was gaped open for the first 30 seconds...I guess she'd never seen me dance. Then, she all of a sudden started copying me. So funny! She mimicked an arabesque position! She's only 21 months! It was crazy fun. We totally had a mommy daughter bonding moment that seemed way too mature for her age, but it was so touching to me. Maybe that will be something she will love to and we can enjoy together. Or maybe she'll be a pro wrestler. Ya never know til they tell you I guess.